My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
