She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
