My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
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