I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This is my gift to your gina
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
