But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
the liver wants what the liver wants
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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