I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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