I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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