is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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