I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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