Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
