Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
