Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
