Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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