Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
