I love black thongs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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