so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
