all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
