I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
