She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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