yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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