My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize