I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize