matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
