you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I touched a dick in church today
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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