Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize