...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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