if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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