No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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