yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
