id be glad to
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, I just burned my penis
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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