Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
