Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
