So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize