we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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