Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize