I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
