guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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