Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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