Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we're so committed to being not committed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
