Hey man sorry I got all grabby
birth control should be required to get into college
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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