No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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