You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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