stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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