did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize