Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
