tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
