If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
