This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
