Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
