i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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