ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
