bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
should my penis look like a turkey
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
whose parrot is this?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
