Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Found your dick twin last night
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
