White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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