i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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