So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
