you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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