Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
