my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
