What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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