I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
P.S. I can't hear my feet
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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