You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize