Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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